Do people really change?  Completely?  I thought that in the last 8 months, I had become someone completely different.  I thought the way I treated people, the way I felt about certain things, the way I did things had all completely changed from the person I was at home.  I felt like I had become completely new, a huge improvement from my old self.

Then I saw a photograph, Nickelback style, although I want to in no way affiliate myself with such a crappy band.  I started looking at it and thinking about how much I’ve changed.  And realized I haven’t.  Sure I’ve told myself I’ve become better, but have I really?  Nope.  That picture reminded me of the biggest mistake of my life.  I’m still not 100% sure exactly how it didn’t end up becoming an even bigger mistake because I know I wanted it to, but today I’m completely glad I didn’t allow it to be.  But thinking about it now, I started the same path a couple months ago.  Different people involved but exactly the same pattern.  If you’re still reading now I commend you because this whole paragraph probably sounds like complete gibberish to you.

Thinking about that got me thinking about politics.  Obama promised change back in ‘07 and ‘08.  I’m going to say something here that I haven’t really told anyone before, just because few enough of you read this for it to matter.  I liked Obama.  Back in ‘08, I was a huge supporter of Ron Paul.  I’m not stupid though, and I knew he had no chance of being elected.  As far as political viewpoints go, his were about as spot-on as any I’ve seen.  I have some problems with the way he views the economy, but that’s just about it.  However, the official Republican candidate isn’t someone I’m a huge proponent of.  Don’t get me wrong, John McCain’s not a bad person or anything, I just felt like he’s not what the Republican party needed.  Obama was pretty much exactly what the Democratic party needed.  And the world needed.  At that moment anyways.

Since 2009, I feel like Obama has put our country into the biggest downhill slide it’s ever been in.  Obama was promising to change the way our country runs.  Did he?  Yes.  He made it worse.  He began with a bang, so much behind him.  Honestly, I was really hoping for a secretary of the arts.  That was my hope.  Not too much of it left anymore.  I felt like that was one thing he’d give us that no republican would.  But he also promised a balanced budget, better healthcare, stronger alliances.  And how’s he doing on all of that?  0 for 3.  I know… I know… he can’t do it without the support of the Legislature.  Well, the Legislature has a good majority of Democrats who are supposed to be on his side.  That excuse is out the window.  Yeah, he came into office at a bad time.  So what?  He’s still not doing anything that he promised.  He spent millions on his election campaign, couldn’t even just a little bit of that have been spent on research to see just how feasible all his plans were?

And then back to me.  I hate the way I’ve been.  I’m a jerk.  A selfish bully.  I have no idea why I’m allowed to be, but it seems like no one cares.  They admire it in fact.  Why?  I have no clue.  Needs to stop though cause I hate myself for it.